The Dream or The Perfect Reality?

When we are dreaming alone it is only a dream. When we are dreaming with others, it is the beginning of reality. -- Dom Helder Camara


As I laid in my bed tonight tossing and turning.  I decided to wave the white flag in my battle with insomnia.  I then proceeded to turn on the tv and like most nights at midnight there wasn't a damn thing to watch.  So I went to my old reliable HBO On Demand and started watching reruns of Sex and the City (if you know me then you know this is the norm and if you don't know, now you know nigga *Biggie Voice*).  Interestingly enough that lead me to my computer and got me to thinking.  We often say that we can't help who we fall in love with.  Well if that is the case and we absolutely believe that.  Then my question to you is, What if you fell in love with someone that didn't want all the same things you wanted out of life.  Marriage, Children, etc...  With us living in a world that we have had convinced ourselves that love is scarce and Mr. and Mrs. Right are one in million.  Could we really walk away from the dream in order to experience the perfect reality?

I have a friend who is very adamant about not wanting to get married.  She's not against spending her life with a man but marriage just isn't on her bucket list by any means.  When I look at myself the only thing I've ever wanted to do in my life besides play professional basketball and open up a Boys and Girls Club is to start a family of my own.  Be married and have some kids.  Share a life with them and experience fatherhood and being a husband.  What if you fell in love with someone who didn't want all the things you've ever wanted?  What if I happen to fall in love with someone like my friend who didn't want to get married.  Could I give that up for the sake of our love?  I honestly do not know the answer to that.  Part of me feels like if I did flat out know the answer then that would be a mistake in itself.  That would make me a close minded person and that it something I pride myself on not being.  Is comprising the right thing to do in such a situation or is it best to break your ties  with that person and allow each other to find what each of you is really looking for?

I was in a relationship in which the woman and I happen to be in two different places in our lives.  Although we both wanted the same things, our timing couldn't have been worst.  I was still in school trying to attain my bachelor's degree in Sports Management while she had already started her career, she was living alone and had been for some time.  She was also looking to settle down and start a family.  Not to mention our relationship was a long distance.  From the outside looking people say things like "If you two really loved each other you could have made it work" or "She would've waited for you if she loved you."  But I don't know how much I lean towards that skewed perception of the situation.  Life and time are two things that don't wait for us.  So how exactly are we supposed to wait on it?  When we decided to end things I wasn't bitter because I felt like she should have waited for me.  I understood her dilemma completely.  She had a dream and she felt it was still well within grasp.  Who was I to ask her to come live in the not so perfect reality with me, together, forever.  Was she my Mrs. Right? *smirks* I don't know the answer to that.  Maybe she was or maybe she was just someone I needed to come along and open my eyes to something I hadn't experienced.  Nonetheless, she is an amazing woman I pray she finds all she's ever dreamed of and more.

At the end of the day, I guess it all boils down to the dream or the perfect reality.  Some people die chasing their dreams.  While others dream chase never forgetting to slow down to wake up and enjoy their perfect reality. 

1Love
AV