"What do you look for in a woman?" The answer to this question changes about as much casts wardrobe in a Tyler Perry play. Not from me in particular but for most men in general. I recently read blog that spoke about men being able to commit and what makes us commit. In that same blog it spoke about women and the proverbial "check-list." Basically what the author was trying to say is that for a man to settle down its more about "right place, right time" than it is the woman in his life.
Boissuq.com When men are ready to settle down, they go with whatever is right there at that moment. Luck of the draw…
Naturally I would love to disagree with the above statement, but in this case that quote does hold some truth to it. Again not necessarily for me, but for men in general. Most men don't think about marriage and settling down on a daily basis. The majority don't approach dating with the idea of "Can I see myself with this person long term" its more like "She's cool and I enjoy her company, lets see how it goes." It is the woman that later brings up the discussion of "Where do we stand?" or "Where do you see this going (in reference to the relationship). At that point he has to decide whether or not that is something he wants to address or simply let her go on with her life and let her find the man that can give her all that she wants and needs.
We see men all the time that say things like "I think its about time I settle down." Keep in mind no where in that statement does he make reference to the woman in his life. He just feels that he's at a point in his life where chasing pussy is no longer a priority and he wants to settle down. Well all that means is the next woman that walks into his life and makes him feel good and he loves, there's a good chance he'll marry her. We can add this to the list of why the divorce rate in America is so damn high. Most men don't settle down because of the women in their lives, they settle down because of where they are in their own lives. Pardon me, but seeing how most women dream of being married and having a family she'll be so blinded by the fact this man wants to spend the rest of his life with her she won't even question why? Call me crazy but I feel she's entitled to questioning someone that she's about to invest her life in. But that's just me. Ladies, any time a man starts a sentence with "I feel like I'm at a point in MY life...." then proceeds to want to make you apart of his life. You have ask yourself is it more about him or you? He has to want to settle down because he believes there is no other woman in the world that he can't picture himself being without. Not that he's tired of chasing pussy and you happen to be in the picture now.
I personally don't even bother to date a woman that I can't see myself being with long term. I think so many of us are so wrapped up in trying to figure what we want. Truth is, until you figure what you DON'T want it is harder to pin point the things you do. I know exactly what I don't want. So it allows me to weed out the women who possess such qualities. To each its own and what I don't want maybe a necessity for the next man. Do I have a checklist? I think we all do. Some are longer than others, some are much more shallow and some are just way too specific. I happen to believe that checklist is more pivotal initially. For instance, there has to be something on your "list" that attracts you to that person. Once you're able to slowly start get to know them you may see they don't meet all the criteria on your list. But that starts to matter less and less because of how that person makes you feel. If they bring you joy, happiness and make you feel good about yourself. Perhaps it won't matter as much that he hasn't graduated from college just yet, or that she happens to have a 3 year old son that isn't yours. I'm not saying these are things that are easy to overlook by any means. But our attitudes do tend to change when we have someone in our lives that bring us so much happiness.
I don't want discourage any of you who happen to have a checklist that looks like this
1) Must be this height
2) Have a college degree
3) Be this race
4) Have this belief in God; and
5) Make x amount of money
BUT I do challenge you to really reevaluate your own life. Before creating this checklist you have to understand where you are in your life and what it is you are expecting the next person to have to be with you. "Who the hell am I" is the first question you need to ask yourself and be confident in your answer.
All men are different despite the popular opinion of women. If you approach us like we're all the same then there's a good chance you will always see the same man. Be open minded. Minded being the operative word. I'm not telling you to open up your heart to every man. But if you open mind I think you'd be surprised at what you find in some of us.
1Love
AV
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