What do you do when you've had enough? When you've had enough of the pain and heartache. The constant fuck ups, the refusal for them to understand, listen and empathize or sympathize with your thoughts and feelings? How much is too much? Depending on who you ask you'll get a variety of different answers. Some will answer with their bitter hearts, some will answer with a forgiving heart, others will answer with logic and then you'll get those who are so impulsive that they don't even think before making their decision. I am guilty of contributing to all of the above. How many of you reading this have taken a significant other back after they cheated or forgiven them for something they did that they knew was wrong and it hurt like hell? Chances are the majority of you have all done so and prior to taking such action you fought with yourself about whether or not you were making the right decision. Truth is we never know until we step out on faith and make our decision one way or the other. I personally feel its better to live without the "What if."
The "What if" is a son of a bitch! You know when you're laying in bed just reminiscing about life and you hit that rewind button and it takes you back to a decision that you pussied out on and you say "What if I would've...?" You are a prisoner of those four words and the only way to rid yourself of that cell is to let it go and move on. I say its better not even become an inmate of the "What if" penitentiary and just go out on faith and let the cards fall where they may. At least when you do so you will look back and say "at least I tried." But and here's where shit gets tricky. When you've been hurt so much by that person and you've given that second chance or you're undecided about whether or not they deserve one. At what point do you say, "Fuck this! Enough is enough."
The only person that knows your heart better than you do is God. All you can do is send your prayer up to Him and ask him to help guide you in your decision making. Don't listen to outside voices telling you what they would do. They don't have to live with the decision you make, you do! People are quick to tell what they would do, but when push comes to shove and their placed in a similar situation. Their hands start to shake, their palms get sweaty and they can't pull the trigger on their decision themselves. First thing you have to ask yourself is "How much do I want or need this person in my life?" and "At what cost am I willing to allow them back into it?" If you feel the risk out weighs the reward, well 2 + 2 has always equaled 4. At least it has in every math class I've ever taken. But if you feel that person is worth whatever ever pain and heartache may or may not come. Then you do what you feel is best for you. Its not much more complicated than that. We like to over analyze our own relationships and we start to see things that aren't there and hear things that aren't being said. Don't complicate things by listening to the one hundred and one people around you. Listen to YOURSELF, follow YOUR heart and do what's best for YOU.
As far as forgiveness goes, it doesn't go hand and hand with second chances. Forgiveness means just that. You have chosen to forgive the person for the pain they have cause and you wish them nothing but happiness. If you can't wish them that happiness then you haven't forgiven them. But just because you forgive doesn't mean you should immediately take them back. Some people confuse the two. They are two separate actions and should be treated as such. In the words of my friend Lizz who has these words tatted on her body: "Always Forgive.... Never Regret"
I hope those of you who read this were able to grab some insight on forgiveness, second chances and when enough is enough in relationships. I pray this reaches you or someone that maybe going through a similar situation. God Bless you!
1Love
AV
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